it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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