Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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