You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
