Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
third nipple confirmed
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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