i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I will pee on everything he values.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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