Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
