Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
