i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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