Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
