question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
