I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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