Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
