i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
