i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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