so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
