Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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