Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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