im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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