My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
