am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
