Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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