Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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