I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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