i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
