fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
