I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
