Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
