So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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