just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
