Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
