could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize