Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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