paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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