I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
