i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
