accomplished twins. life is a go
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
