im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
