How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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