i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
