First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize