I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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