How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
