if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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