He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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