I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
