Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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