dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
