im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
