just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
