We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
