i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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