TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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