My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
