we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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