I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
