You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
