How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
